A cornerstone of building a sound financial future for your teenager is to teach him or her her how to save money. Sounds easy, but even many adults don’t know how to do it. And that could be because no one ever taught them. Parents can show their teens ways to save money by serving real-life examples.
Tips for teenagers on how to save money are easy to use. In fact, there are no complications involved. Patience and persistence are needed, sure, but no special education or knowledge is required. Here’s a list of ways to save money specially created for teens.
- Do not put your computer in “standby” mode. Instead, shut it down. Do same with the monitor. While the power consumption in standby mode is little, it still adds up over the year. Same applies to all electronic appliances.
- Take shower instead of bath. This will lower water bills tremendously. Also, use the possibilities to take shower outside home. For me, with two weekly visits to a swimming pool, it’s easy and natural.
- If you do not plan to buy anything, then do not take cash when leaving home. If you have no cash in the purse or pocket, you can’t spend it. Sounds simple and works great.
- Have your parents open a savings account for you. Depending on the financial institution, your starting deposit can be as low as 1 dollar. Not much, right? But with due attitude and dedication, you’ll start making a small fortune pretty quickly.
- Pay yourself first. Set aside part of your income for savings, before spending anything. When give allowance or any unexpected sum of money, take out 10% of it and save. Make a habit of spending less than you get. It will help to pave the way for financially prosperous future.
- Set goals that appeal to you. Decide what you want — a multimedia computer or a bike? Perhaps your parents will add some 10% of the sum. When you want something badly, saving is easier.
- Plan major purchases ahead. Same applies to parties. Wait at least a week or so before purchasing. Chances are, you will change your mind or the price will drop. In both cases, you win.
- Monthly allowance will teach you to save and spend wise. When you have to cover a month of expenses, the temptation to spend half of the allowance at once won’t seize you.
- Keep a checkbook. It’s an old-fashioned method to put down records of all money received and spent. Doing so helps teens know where they stand financially. Analyzing your records over the month you’ll discover where you could spend less, or when you bought something you didn’t really need.
- Get a piggy bank for a change. Use only dollar bills when paying. When the year is over, you’ll have a lump some of saved money to make Christmas gifts.
By saving money teens learn patience and persistence. Every teen who embraces even one of these habits is well on his or her way to financial stability. It doesn’t really matter how many of these tips you try to use. Start with just one, and when mastered enough
, get to another. Saving money is what makes teens financially aware for the adult life.
Anger is unavoidable. Feelings of anger are triggered by factors in our environment and are accompanied by certain physiological reactions. Anger management focuses on the negative expression of these feelings. When one externalizes anger, one can mistreat the world around him.
Teenagers have a unique experience with anger. Adolescence is a major growth stage emotionally, socially and physically. Teenagers go through this stage without the benefit of a fully mature brain. Thus, their understanding and ability to self-regulate their emotions is often difficult. There are, however, several ways in which teenagers can gain better control of anger management. Managing anger involves becoming aware of the physiological ??signals??, such as blood pressure and heart rate, before the thinking part of the brain is bypassed and the action part of the brain is engaged.
Following are some of the concepts I offer teens:
- It takes 10 steps before you ??lose?? your temper. Here??s an example: If I throw a ball to you, you catch it. However, if you were two-years-old, it might hit you in the face. Through trail and error, you have learned to lift your hands up, cup your hands, keep your eyes on the ball, bring your hands together at the right moment, press hard enough to keep the ball in your hands and suddenly you have caught the ball.
This ??catching the ball?? technique took months or maybe years to master. In the same way, learning techniques to control your anger takes time to learn. Let??s take a look at how we can break down the way we react in a situation to see how we might handle our anger differently:
You ask your mom if you can go out while thinking to yourself: ??She won??t let me.?? You feel sick to your stomach, your heart races. You feel hot and angry and you??re ready for a fight. A little too rudely, you ask your mom if you can go out. She responds to your tone of voice and says ??no.??
You explode and scream, ??I knew you were going to say that!??
You go to your room and slam the door. You kick the bed and throw yourself down and think hateful thoughts.
In order to begin to control your anger, you need to deconstruct your behavior and see all these ??steps?? you??ve gone through.
- Prevention is the best medicine. If you understand step 1 and step 2 of your angry reaction, you can prevent steps 3, 4 and 5 from happening. Awareness is the key. Catching yourself before those other steps occur takes practice (like a child learning to catch a ball). You need to find a way to prevent yourself from going too far. In our example, from the moment you thought about asking your mom for permission to go out, you felt and behaved angrily. You need an alternative plan. One alternative during the early stages of anger is to pause and tell yourself, ??I??ve got to break this pattern. Acting this way solves nothing. I don??t feel good when I get distressed. I need to calm down and then cope with what I??m feeling.?? How do you do that?
- Take a deep breath.??? This allows you the opportunity to plan a different conversation with your mother.
- Use an external ??reminder?? to ??stop, look, and listen?? to different behavioral options. For instance, wearing a certain bracelet, ring or band can be a reminder for you that you need to stop long enough to consider the outcome of the path you are on.
- Give yourself a break. Go outside for a bit. Take 10 deep breaths. Go to your room, lie down and listen to music. Write a page in your journal. Any of these techniques will allow you the ??space?? to talk yourself through the problem at hand.
- Like that child learning to catch the ball, it takes time to learn to control your behavior. In the event that you reach the point of losing your temper and expressing your anger, you need a plan as well. Some have found the following techniques as helpful at times like these: going for a run, punching a pillow, or throwing a ball. Screaming into your pillow can be more productive than screaming at your mother. These physical releases can produce a calmer state in which you can take a look at what led to the angry response and make a plan for the next time it happens.
- Finally, write yourself a letter. Tell yourself the situations that trigger your anger. Describe the first steps as you move towards an angry outburst. Then
, describe alternative plans for calming yourself and dealing reasonably with your anger. Give specific behavioral options that you??ve learned and calm you down at that stage. Also include plans for safe releases of your anger if it goes too far. This letter should be available at all times. Your own words can be your best coach when you feel circumstances getting out of control.
In this day and age, it is very easy for teens to fall into the wrong crowd. When this happens, they stop listening to what is right and just start doing what their friends do. No matter what kind of family a kid comes from, the wrong group of friends can take that kid for a turn for the worst. The good news is that there are ways that you can help your teens before it is too late. When you start to notice change in the behaviors of your teens, then it could be time to start looking into troubled teens schools. These are different kinds of schools that can help your teen get back on the right track. These are schools that actually specialize in regaining control of your teens, and once again, teach them right from wrong. You can try as you might, but as long as your teen keeps hanging out with teens that make bad choices, your influences on him or her are going to be tarnished.
Whenever people think of troubled teens schools, they always think of boarding schools that parents send their kids too. However, there are a lot of other different kinds of schools that you can send your kid to. Of course, it is up to you to choose what kind of help your teen needs. Do they need tough love, or do they just need guidance? For example, if your kid has a hard time thinking for himself and a hard time doing what they know is right, then a Christian school could be right for them. You may even want to think about getting them into outdoor adventure programs. This is going to take them out of their normal environment, and put them in a new place where they can make their own choices. Although this can be a rough shock to a kid, it can be the right way to lead them down the right road.
If you are looking for troubled teens schools that are going to help your kid be able to get over addictions, then you may need a different kind of school. For example, a kid that is having problems with drugs may need to go to a therapeutic program. This can help them get rid of those bad influences that are in their life while helping them deal with the addiction itself. Of course, other things like residential treatment centers and places like that will also be very helpful to these kinds of kids. They will get involved with other kids that will be able to help them, and they will get to get involved with school programs that can help them.
For those of you who are suffering from kids that are impossible to control
, then some tough love may be what they need. Sending these kids to boarding schools or boot camps is the best way to go. Here the kids will get the discipline that they need to be able to be in public again. Here kids will see what can happen to them if they keep going down the road that they are on. This can be a good awakening for children that do not want to behave.
At times, even when using the best parenting tactics, teens may need outside help in order to get over their problems.??? It??s important to know that there are many useful resources in your community that can be called upon when your teen??s depression or anger issues become out of control and more than what you can deal with.
One great place to start in your search for outside help for your teen is at his school.??? Contact the school guidance counselor, they are very knowledgeable about problems that teens face today and they have connections to many outside resources.??? The school counselor may also be able to speak with your teen and be a liaison between your teen and his teachers at school.???
There are many youth centers and community centers that offer programs for trouble teens.??? Within these programs, they provide many different coping skills and assistance to teens that will help them manage their troubles.??? These programs also provide mentors that can be very helpful to your teen when they are having problems communicating with the family.??? The key is to locate these programs before your teens behaviors become totally out of control.
If you are involved in church or another place of worship, you may want to contact them to see if there is a youth program at the facility.??? These programs may be helpful to your teen and assist your teen with their individual problems.??? Many pastors and other clergy have been trained in counseling troubled children.
Your family doctor is another wonderful resource that you can use to enlist help for your teen.??? They can assess your teen to see if there is a medical problem that may need to be treated with medication.??? In most cases this is covered by insurance.??? The doctor may also know of other programs and groups that might be helpful to your teen, your family, or even you, in dealing with the problems of depression and anger.
Finding a residential treatment center is usually the last resort for most parents that are dealing with a teen that needs help.??? They are equipped with psychiatrists, doctors and staff that are fully trained to handle the problems that teenagers have.??? It??s important to know that when teens are placed in a facility like this, they receive very close monitoring, and will also receive medication, if it is needed.??? Residential facilities provide group and/or individual counseling for your teenager that will prove to be very helpful. ???They will undergo training in different types coping mechanisms which can help to keep their emotional problems from recurring.
If you have a teenager that you feel needs to receive outside help, it is important to act swiftly before the problem has a chance to escalate. As you can see, there are a number of options available to troubled teens; the key is to find one that works for your teen and your family.??? Not every approach will work with every teen; you know your child best, so trust your instincts and, above all, be patient
, even when they are less than pleasant with you.
Your teenager may go through times where their self-esteem goes up and down; especially if theyre being teased by their peers.� You may want to find ways of raising your teens self-esteem to a higher level to help them cope with their issues.� Here are some ways you can do just that:
Take the Time To Listen- You may not always be able to stop what youre doing when your teen wants to talk. Dont brush them away and say that you dont have time. This shows them you dont care even when you actually do. Tell them that you need a minute or two to finish up what youre doing and then you will sit down and talk with them.
Listen- Your teen needs to know that youre actually listening to what theyre saying. Let them tell you whats on their mind. Ask questions related to what theyre saying. For example, if theyre telling you about someone at school, you can ask if that person is in their class or not. This shows them that what they have to say is valuable; no matter what it is. On the same token, dont interrupt them by saying what theyre talking about is wrong. Let them talk through their issue first and then explain what might have been wrong about it.
More Praise- Offer more praise for the good things they do and less focus on the things they do wrong. You still want to show them what their mistakes are, but dont dwell solely on that. Tell them what they could have done right and praise them for anything they may have done correctly in that situation. This helps them see that they arent as bad as they might think they are.
Punish Behaviors and Not The Teen- There will be times where you will have to dole out some form of punishment for your teen. Its important that you punish the behavior, but never tell your teen how stupid they are for doing it or that they cant do anything right. You would only be adding to their self-esteem problem. They need to know the behavior was unacceptable, but talk to them about how they could have handled it instead, so they dont come out of it feeling like theyre not worth anything.
Share some of their interests- You dont need to like everything they do. Find some things that they like and learn about them. For example, if your teen likes to play golf; you can offer to take them sometime and play along with. They can even teach you how to play, so they can feel like theyre really good at something.
Be Understanding- Dont laugh or brush off your teens fears or insecurities. Always be understanding of that fear and help them work through whatever it is. Confess to some fears you might have had when you were their age. This shows them that theyre not alone and theyre not dumb for what theyre feeling.
Encourage- You will want to encourage your teen to do whatever it is they want to do. If their career choice is to be an engineer, then encourage them to find out what they need to learn to become one and encourage them to do whatever they need to accomplish that goal. If they choose to become a professional sports player and not go to college; you should still encourage them to continue playing that sport, but they could do it while in college. Let them know that they can get a feel for how it could work if they get on a professional team later on.
These things give them the confidence they need to try new things and to look forward to the future.� To get super-sized self-esteem for your teen
, you can start offering it yourself. This will help them when they have issues outside of the home that could cause a poor self-confidence.
This may be a viable alternative for teens who are just beginning to spiral, but alternative day schools are not appropriate for teens who have serious behavioral problems that are exacerbated by relationships with peers. Often, these teens will make progress during the day but slide back into negative behaviors when they visit with friends in the evenings.
Because of this, many parents find that specialty boarding schools are a better option. There are many types of specialty boarding schools available, including Christian, military, and therapeutic boarding schools.
Regardless of the type, all specialty boarding schools are highly structured facilities designed to help troubled teens who are struggling with serious issues and who need round-the-clock supervision. An average stay of three to six months, or even a year or more, is not uncommon to ensure a lasting change in behavior. Specialty boarding schools typically offer a variety of programs to help troubled teens, including academics, athletics, personal development courses, emotional growth sessions, and daily responsibilities and duties.
Christian boarding schools address the needs of troubled teens using a Christian-based philosophy. There are also boarding schools that are do not identify themselves as Christian but still utilize the underlying values and principles of Judeo-Christian religions such as respect, honesty, hard work to help troubled teens.
While military schools can help teens with mild problems or who need more discipline and structure, they are not designed to provide help with serious problems. In fact, attending military school is often considered a privilege, and students are usually required to have good grades and references before they will be admitted. Even if a troubled teen is admitted, they typically fail to give him or her useful tools for change and emotional growth.
Therapeutic boarding schools and treatment programs are recommended for troubled teens who are considered extreme cases where therapy is needed. These schools can cost more, but because they provided structure with a therapeutic component, including group sessions, individual therapy sessions, or a combination of both
, the results are usually better over time.
Even if your teenagers do not use drugs, you still need to keep an eye on them. It is much better to realize that things could change, and anticipate that your teen COULD become a user. Essentially, it is not wise to make assumptions about topics such as drug use. Also, having been a high school teacher afforded me the opportunity to witness peer pressure, and how even good kids could be convinced to try drugs – just to fit in. It is important that you play a proactive role in ensuring that your teenagers and the rest of your family remains drug free.
About drug use
Initially, I learned that the signs of drug use included three basic symptoms:
A loss of interest in hobbies
A change in friends
A drop in grades
What I later discovered was that not seeing these symptoms only provides a false sense of security regarding teenagers and potential drug use. The above behaviors apply more to signs of drug addiction, as opposed to experimental drug use.
Teens who experiment with drugs dont start out addicted so logically, they do not show any symptoms. They generally look healthy and nothing seems to be wrong. In fact, teens can casually use drugs for over a year before their parents would even suspect any drug or alcohol use.
Many teenagers who decide to experiment with drugs start out casually, using them with friends and then progressing towards regular use. It is important that you look for clues pertaining to casual drug use so that if your teen is prone, you can proactively deal with it.
What you can do
You need to monitor your teens behavior and watch for signs of drug use, without appearing to be spying. Your goal should be to prevent him or her from feeling free to experiment with drugs or alcohol. The best way to accomplish this is to keep abreast of your teens activities and friends. You will be able to spot a problem early if you keep your eyes and ears open, and believe that YOUR teenager is capable of using drugs. Many parents get blind-sided by thinking that their teen would never try drugs. Only then will you be ready to intervene if the situation presents itself.
The following are ten ways to monitor your teenagers behavior and watch for signs of drug use, without appearing to be spying:
1. Hug your teen as soon as s/he arrives home. Check for odors of possible marijuana smoke or alcohol. Remember that cologne or chewing gum may be used to hide the odor.
2. Teenagers under the influence will usually go straight to their room when they arrive home. While making eye contact, hold a brief conversation. Check for bloodshot eyes, slurred speech and their sense of balance.
3. Keep the lights on and stay up until your teenager comes home.
4. Ask your teen for the time and watch the way s/he looks at his or her watch.
5. If your teenager unexpectedly wants to spend the night at a friends house, and you have concerns, say no.
6. Maintain a flexible schedule. Be unpredictable so your teen cannot find it easy to plan around your activities.
7. Keep abreast of what your teen is really doing when away from home. Meet their friends and their parents and participate in mutual activities. This is a very effective form of networking.
8. Ask your neighbors to discretely keep an eye on any activities that may take place while you are not home.
9. Check to see how your teens are doing in school. Ask their teachers if there is any cause for concern or if your teen has been behaving differently.
10. After you meet your teenagers friends, always ask them to identify themselves when they call. Get to know them. Always encourage your teens to invite their friends over while you are home.
Remember, your goal should be to prevent your teenager from feeling free to experiment with drugs or alcohol. The best way to accomplish this is to keep abreast of their activities and friends using the above methods.
Lastly, but most important, talk to your teenager on a regular basis about the drug use she witnesses, and how she feels about it. Also, if she has been approached, have her describe how she handled the situation. Strive for honesty and ask how you can help her to remain drug free.
This article is an excerpt from the book “Realizing the Power of Love,” How a father and teenage daughter became best friends…and how you can too! By V. Michael Santoro, M. Ed and Jennifer S. Santoro. For more information visit their Web site at http://www.dads-daughters.com/
Copyright 2004 by V. Michael Santoro and Jennifer S. Santoro
, All Rights Reserved.
Adolescence is a chaotic time at best. Its like you go to sleep a child and wake up something else, not quite an adult. Not only are hormonal fluctuations causing your body to change dramatically pretty much overnight, but your place in society is kind of in limbo as well. Its enough to make even the most well adjusted person question his place in the world. Even though it is a phase in life that every living thing must go through, its not at all a smooth transition. Some graduate into adulthood relatively unscathed, but for some its the start of a long, tough road that spirals down to a life-long path of despair and destruction.
Of course theres a certain amount of teenage angst that, though sure to being some upheaval to your home, is perfectly healthy. Its important to know what to expect so you, as a parent, can detect anything that might be a sign of trouble. Adolescence is when kids start to pull away from their parents emotionally so they can prepare to separate from the family unit and form their identity as an individual. So dont be overly concerned when your teen starts spending more and more time in her room or out with friends. At times it might even seem like shes trying to drive you away. Try not to take it too personally. This process may be painful for all involved, but its absolutely necessary for your child to grow into a happy, stable adult.
Drama is just a standard part of the teenage years. Surging hormones are making their emotions go crazy. Thats why everything is such a big deal. Be considerate of your kids feelings, and know that she is not just being a drama queen. Try not to add to the problem by making her feel like youre not taking her problem seriously. Yes, she will most likely look back one day and realize how silly she is being, but telling her that right now is only going to make her thing you dont care about whats going on with her.
Teenagers tend to gravitate away from the family unit and cling to their group of friends. This is their way of testing how they will interact with society at large. You will probably have concerns about these creatures your child is trying to spend her ever waking hour with. Keep in mind that all these other kids are in the middle of the same turmoil yours is going through. You can visit http://www.troubled-teens-help.com for more information on dealing with troubled teens.
Be patient, and try not to judge her friends by their appearance. Under all those chains, piercings and bright blue Mohawks might be some completely decent kids. Theyre just trying to find themselves. What you need to pay close attention to is how these kids behave. Keep an eye out for signs of drug use. Younger kids are probably not going to have the experience or contacts to access a variety of drugs, so youre probably not going to see needle tracks. Look for more subtle signs like erratic behavior, bloodshot eyes, missing money or other valuables when they leave, paranoia or excessive nervousness. Also be on the lookout for any wounds that might be self-inflicted. Trust your gut. This is when you have to jump in and take action. There are a variety of treatment options
, from talk therapy to inpatient hospitals. Keep in touch with what your children are up to so you can catch the warning signs.
Nowadays our kids are learning about sex at younger and younger ages and the biggest problem for most parents is that a lot of the information they are receiving is wrong and, quite frankly, downright dangerous. For this reason it is vitally important that parents talk to their children about this whole subject, earlier rather than later, to ensure that their children are safe and do not either end up as parents themselves before their time or with a nasty, if not life-threatening, disease.Now this might seem a little strange, but the first piece of advice for any parent who is about to tackle this subject with their children is to take the time to learn about it yourself. You cannot give your child the right information unless you have it yourself and things have probably changed dramatically since most of us learnt ourselves, possible many years ago. Thankfully, there are several trusted and well respected organizations today that are only too willing to give you the up-to-date information you need and also to provide you with information which you can communicate to your children in a tried and tested form which they will both understand and accept.The accepted wisdom for many years, and still the preferred route for many parents, is simply to teach children abstinence. This is not a good approach and has been shown time and time again to fail. Like it or not as parents we have to accept that there is a good chance that our children are going to have sex before we feel that they are ready to do so and our prime responsibility must be to ensure that they do so safely and responsibly. The important thing to remember is that, whatever our own attitude towards sex, we cannot necessarily expect our teenagers to have the same attitude and can only point them in the right direction. At the end of the day the decision will be theirs and not ours.Many parents feel uncomfortable about talking to their kids about sex and find a raft of excuses to pass the problem off onto somebody else. For example, a lot of parents feel that this is something which should be dealt with in schools or that there is no real need to deal with the subject at all, because kids today can pick up all the information they need from their peers or from sources such as the Internet. This is simply a ‘cop out’ and amounts to nothing more than evading your responsibilities as a parent.You need to ensure that you children get the right information and that they receive it from someone they trust – and that means you. More importantly when your child has a problem, is concerned about something or simply has a question about sex, he needs to know that he can come to you and talk about it openly and easily and without any embarrassment on either side.If you are still feeling nervous about talking to your child about sex then just stop and think for a moment how you would feel if your fifteen year old daughter came home one day and told you that she was pregnant, or your sixteen year old son told you that he had been to the std clinic because he had been having a problem and has been diagnosed with HIV. Dealing with the consequences of your own failure to tackle sex education in a responsible and timely manner can be devastating
, not least to the children you love so much.