Posts Tagged ‘spouse’

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Signs your spouse is having an extramarital affair

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

Extramarital infidelity can destroy a marriage. In fact, it has been the leading cause of divorce for quite some time. Even without “proof”, the suspicion that your spouse may be having an extramarital affair can be heart wrenching. Because you know your spouse better than anybody else does — you will know when your relationship is changing. Others may not be able to see it, but that is due to the fact that the changes oftentimes start out subtly.

If you suspect that your husband or wife may be having an extramarital affair, ask yourself the following questions:

-Has your spouse suddenly become distant?

-Does your spouse make excuses to be away from you?

-Has your spouse suddenly started taking on overtime?

-Has your spouse made plans that exclude your input or even involvement?

These are amongst the most common signs that your spouse may be having an extramarital affair. Now, these are far from the only telltale signs — you may notice changes in daily routines, personal attitude, or in your spouse’s lifestyle in general. Honestly, the best way to “know” when your spouse is cheating, even without proof, is by simply paying attention to what is going on in your marriage and with your spouse.

Computers can be a major problem for husbands and wives — they offer a new, and largely anonymous, venue for their partners to converse with others. When you walk in the room and your spouse shuts down the computer suddenly, or tries to divert your attention from what they are doing — this may indicate that your spouse is hiding something from you. Online dating sites, or “married but dating” suites have made it very easy to connect with other people in your local area or anywhere around the world.

One other sign that your spouse may be having an affair is their inability to keep track of their “stories” that they tell you. For instance — ask your spouse what they are doing again, unexpectedly, as they are getting ready to leave. Ask them what they are planning on doing while you are gone — you may be playing the part of the forgetful spouse, but those who are having an extramarital affair oftentimes will lose track of their lies at some point, and these lies can be indicative of a cheating partner.

Now, while these signs can indicate that your partner is having an extramarital affair, they are not concrete evidence that your spouse is involved in some form of extramarital infidelity. Before you confront your spouse, you should have solid evidence that there really is something going on, other than their suspicious behavior. After all, they are your partner, and a false accusation is not something that can be undone.

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How To Catch A Cheating Spouse Online

Friday, April 30th, 2010

Copyright (c) 2008 Ed Opperman

With the advancement of the internet and the fact that it is being used for everything these days it is no wonder that there is an increase in infidelity, that is, online infidelity. More and more families are being broken up and destroyed because of cheating spouses, and the ability for them to hide it better. Gone are the days of cheating spouses being caught in the act in the marital bed and at work. Now comes the stage of online cheating and so too comes the days of catching them online with things like online private investigators.

Possible cheating signs?

They quickly close out the window they are on when you approach the computer. Or they use it late at night, when they know you will be busy or getting ready for bed or already sleeping.

Whenever you ask what they are doing online you get a “nothing” or other elusive response from them.

Unexplained charges from “brown package” companies. These are companies that use cover names for credit card billing so that no one will know what the actual product is. This is often done by dating sites, pornographic sites and other such sites.

Before we continue with the ways to catch a cheating spouse, I must forewarn you. Finding actual proof that they are cheating can be heart breaking. Ensure that you are fully prepared for the possible news and the finding of evidence that will settle it once and for all. Remember, the whole reason you began this journey was for physical proof to justify your suspicions.

How do you catch a cheating spouse?

One way you can catch a cheating spouse that is doing it online is by using a key-logger program. This will allow you to see what they have written in instant messages emails and other computer applications. Dependant on the program it can even send you an email at another computer or email address of the recent activity on the computer.

Another thing to check when they are not around are the actual computer files. Many people will download pictures of the person they are cheating with and other such incriminating files. Check the files in the recycle bin.

If you are very computer literate you could also do a system restore to a date you are suspicious about and see if there are any files that were present before your cheating partner deleted them. If you find the information you are looking for, make sure you make a hard copy of it. Whether you email it to yourself (make sure you cover your tracks) or download it to a disc, you will need the hard proof. When you are doneFind Article, ensure you restore it back to its original state or you will give your suspicions away.

If none of these ways appeal to you or you just don’t have the nerve or time to catch them in the act you can also contact online private investigators. There are a great number of them that for a minimal fee will track your possibly adulterous spouse and let you know what is really going on.

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Establishing Boundaries With Your Former Spouse

Tuesday, April 6th, 2010

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2 ways to catch your spouse cheating on you

Monday, March 15th, 2010

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

Cheaters are largely the same today as they were thirty years ago, though the ways to catch a spouse engaged in extramarital infidelity have changed with the times. While cheaters will still show the signs of a cheating spouse, there are ways, using old and new technologies, to catch your uncommitted partner.

Here are two ways to catch your spouse cheating on you:

Catch them in a lie

When your significant other is cheating on you, there is a good chance that they are juggling a large number of truths, half-truths, and lies so that they can hide their extramarital infidelity from you, and hide the fact they are married from the other person that they are seeing. For this reason, it can be somewhat easy to catch your spouse in a lie if they are cheating on you.

In reality, catching your spouse in a lie can be as simple as playing the “forgetful spouse”. Now, for this to work without raising suspicion — you should be naturally interested in what your spouse does on a daily basis.

For instance, if your spouse has told you that he or she is going out for the day to run errands, or some other ambiguous activity — be sure to ask them about what they’re doing before they actually head for the door. Any questions that you ask, especially if they are out of the blue or unexpected, can throw a cheating spouse off balance enough for you to detect them trying to come up with an answer to the question.

If your spouse hesitates, this alone could be indicative of them and least trying to hide something from you, and if they display other signs of cheating — it could be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, so to speak.

Catch them online

While the internet has given us a great number of benefits and conveniences, it is has also been a major obstacle for marriages comprised of a spouse with a low-level of commitment to the marriage. Nowadays, “married but dating” websites abound — not only that, there are chat rooms, so-called “escort” forums, and just an overall abundant number of opportunities for a spouse who entertains extramarital infidelity. Yes, the internet can be a problem in certain marriages and for certain people — but in all actuality, catching a cheater who uses the internet to engage in their illicit affairs can actually be quite simple.

Online fidelity investigation services specialize in tracking cheaters online. Now, even if you are an internet “guru”, so to speak — the in-depth research that an investigative service produces far outweighs any information that you could glean through your own research. If your spouse is using an online dating website to pursue their extramarital infidelity, there’s a good chance that these types of services will not only be able to identify a cheating spouse — but catch them in the act as well.

Extramarital infidelity is a major problem these days, and it is a problem that has destroyed marriages time and time again. While unfortunate, the best thing that you can do for yourself, so that you can figure out what you need to do in the end, is toArticle Search, first of all — catch your partner cheating on you.

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How To Catch A Cheating Spouse

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Copyright (c) 2008 Ed Opperman

Infidelity has been around just about as long as the institution of marriage itself, probably longer. In todays day and age, where computers are a part of our everyday life, infidelity has been taken to another level. The computer has good points to catch your spouse cheating, but first we will look at the downside to the technology.

Internet chat rooms, dating sites, and Social networking pages are all places where infidelity can begin and then grow into a full-fledged affair. Without question, the Internet has made it incredibly easy to find an outlet for cheating on a spouse.

At first, even when you think you have caught a cheating partner, you may be in denial. You might make excuses about how you’re the one who is mistaken or over-reacting. Also, you can be sure that the offending spouse will deny it and make excuses. Believe me, there are all kinds of ways they will try to explain it away. The cheater might say that they were just browsing the pics, doing it as a joke, or proclaim complete ignorance of the situation.

The next step you will likely try is to gather additional evidence. After all, if you can catch your spouse cheating, you will have the upper hand. However, cheaters can be very creative in covering their tracks. Besides, they may not even use the home computer to engage in their infidelity; opting for a cyber cafe, or a computer at work.

Now, for the good part. How to catch a cheating spouse can be tricky, but the technology exists to help you catch a cheating spouse online. To up the ante you may try installing what’s known as catch a cheating spouse software. This can track the sites they visit, and every word they type into a chat room. That’s pretty powerful evidence, but it may not be enough.

Hiring a private investigator to find every site they are already registered at is really the only way to remove every doubt once and for all. As mentioned, the cheating spouse may not be using a home computer, and you certainly can’t install software on someone else’s computer. Instead, you can provide the investigator with your spouse’s email address, and they can utilize a special search to find exactly what sites they belong to find out if your spouse is cheating.

Sadly, marital infidelity isn’t going away. In fact, in many ways it’s easier to cheat now than it ever was before. However, the methods used to catch a cheating spouse online have kept up with the changes. There is no need to feel guilty about finding out for sureComputer Technology Articles, so you may as well avail yourself of all the resources that are out there.

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Now, tonight, and everyday, tell your spouse you love them!

Tuesday, August 18th, 2009

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Do you suspect your spouse is having an extramarital affair?

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

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Is Your Spouse Having an Online Affair? Catch Them Cheating Online!

Sunday, April 26th, 2009

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What to Do When Your Spouse or Your Friends are Negative?

Sunday, February 8th, 2009

But what do you do when the person who is being negative is your partner, spouse or child? It’s not likely you will just eliminate them from your life altogether. How can you deal with a situation that is contaminating your positive energy with negative energy?

First of all, I’d like you to remember that it takes two people to argue or fight and you always have a choice about what you choose to talk about. When you are with your mate, or friend or child and they are complaining about something they don’t like or telling you how much their life isn’t working in some respect, you always have two choices:

1) You can buy into their conversation, join it and thereby lower your vibration to match theirs; or

2) You can steer the conversation in a direction that creates change in the vibration

How do you steer a conversation into a more positive vibration? It’s quite simple; just ask the question, “So what do you want?” That question may surprise them because they are not used to answering it. They may even have some resistance. But keep asking it. When they do answer, you’ll soon hear their words change and see how the change of words always creates a change in their vibration. The best news of all is that a person can only hold one vibration at a time.

Yes, we all have negative people in our lives, but now you have a tool to use when you feel your positive energy becoming affected by anyone’s negative energy. From now on, your experiences with negative people can be different!

Here’s your assignment! Write the question, “So what do you want?” on post-it notes and put them by your phoneFeature Articles, on your fridge and on your bathroom mirror. This is a powerful tool that delivers rapid change!

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Loving Your Spouse When Your Spouse is Not Loving You

Friday, August 22nd, 2008

The following article is offered for free use in your ezine,
print publication or on your web site, so long as the author resource box at the end is included, with hyperlinks. Notification of publication would be appreciated.

Title: Loving Your Spouse When Your Spouse is Not Loving You
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
E-mail: mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
Copyright: ฉ 2004 by Margaret Paul
URL: http://www.innerbonding.com
Word Count: 791
Category: Relationships

LOVING YOUR SPOUSE WHEN YOUR SPOUSE IS NOT LOVING YOU
Margaret Paul, Ph.D.

Marlo and Jack have been married for twelve years and have two young children. Marlo and Jack each state that they love each other, yet Marlo does not feel loved by Jack, while Jack states that he is content with the relationship.

In their relationship system, Marlo tends to be the caretaker, while Jack is the taker. Marlo often thinks about what would please Jack, while Jack rarely thinks about what Marlo wants or feels.

What should Marlo do? Should she leave Jack, even though she loves him? Should she continue to try to get him to care about her, which has never worked? These are the questions Marlo had for me when she had a counseling session with me on the phone.

Marlo was quite surprised when I told her that neither action was warranted at this time.

“Marlo,” I said to her, “there is a good possibility that the way Jack treats you is a mirror of how you treat yourself. How often do you think about what you want or feel?”

“Not very often. I usually think more about Jack and my kids than I do about myself. I think it’s selfish to think about myself. I want to be loving, not selfish.”

Marlo was confused between selfishness and self-responsibility. Actually, in their relationship, Jack was the selfish one in expecting Marlo to give herself up to take responsibility for his feelings and needs. By not caring about her own feelings and needs, Marlo was training her children to be selfish as well. They were already learning to blame her for their feelings and expect her to give herself up for them. As soon as Jack or the children would get angry or withdraw, Marlo would feel guilty and responsible and give herself up to do what they wanted.

Marlo would not know whether or not Jack really loved her until she started to love herself. What if she left him and met another man? I assured her that the same thing would eventually happen if she remained a caretaker, because people usually end up treating us the way we treat ourselves.

“So what do I do?” asked Marlo. “I’m so used to taking care of everyone else. I have no idea how to take care of myself.”

“Imagine that your feelings and needs are a small child that you’ve just adopted. What would you do to help her begin to feel loved?”

“Well, I would spend time with her, and listen to her, and hold her. I would let her know that I’m here and not going away. I would do lots of things to help her feel safe and loved.”

“Exactly!” I stated. “This is what you need to start to do for yourself. Keep imagining that your own feelings are a small child and you are the parent of this child. You really do know how to be loving – it’s just that you’ve never thought about being loving to yourself. Take all that you’ve learned about giving to others and now give some of it to yourself.”

Then we moved on to another subject. “Marlo, do you have a source of spiritual guidance you turn to?”

“Yes,” she replied. “I’m a Christian and I turn to Jesus.”

“Good,” I said. “Now you need to start asking Jesus for information regarding the loving action toward yourself. You do this by asking a question, such as, ‘Jesus, what would the loving action be toward myself when Jack is angry with me?’ or ‘What is in my highest good when my children are being demanding or disrespectful toward me?’ Then imagine what Jesus might say to you. You might have to make it up for awhile, but after awhile you will begin to experience that Jesus is actually answering you. You will begin to experience two-way communication between you and Jesus. Are you willing to try this?”

Marlo was willing. I cautioned her that Jack and her children might be upset with her for awhile, because they were used to her being a caretaker, but that if they really loved her and wanted her to be happy, they would end up supporting her in loving herself.

“But what if Jack just stays mad?” she asked.

“Well, then you can decide what is in your highest good. But until you are loving to yourself, you will not know the truth about Jack. Most of the people I’ve worked with have found that when they are loving to themselves long enough, their whole relationship improves. I can’t guarantee it, but isn’t it worth a try, rather than just giving up?”

“Yes, I don’t really want to leave Jack. I’m excited about this. I finally have some hope for our relationship!”

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