Posts Tagged ‘matters’

Structured vs. Unstructured Play– Is That What Really Matters?

Saturday, July 4th, 2009

You may have heard the terms ’structured’ and ‘unstructured’ play and wondered–which is better for my child? That’s a bit like asking, ‘Which is better: fruits or vegetables?’ Someone who eats healthy is going to have both without even thinking about it. If you are providing plenty of playtime opportunities for your child, then both kinds of play are taking place.

Structured play has a set of rules with specific objectives. Most games fall under the category of structured play: card games, board games and classic outdoor games like red-light green-light and tag are all structured activities. Putting puzzles together is a structured activity. So is following directions to assemble a toy, model airplane or Lego theme set. Organized sports-soccer, hockey, tennis, etc.–are all examples of structured activities. Generally speaking, when your child is engaging in structured play, she is seeking the most efficient way to achieve pre-existing objectives.

Unstructured play is open ended with unlimited possibilities. Playing with blocks is unstructured play. So is coloring, drawing or painting on blank paper. Deciding how to play with a toy airplane or doll is unstructured play. Inventing games to play is unstructured activity. So is running around the playground or park. Generally speaking, when your child is engaging in unstructured play, she is in the process of establishing her own objectives.

A consideration more important than structured vs. unstructured play is to ask whether the activity holds your child’s full attention. When your child is fully engaged in an activity, she is arranging and absorbing its meaning. She is finding reward in the act of understanding. She’s enjoying figuring it out, whether the “it”–the activity–is structured or unstructured. If you make a habit of providing quality playtime to your child, she’ll make a habit of taking ownership of an activity and applying her ingenuity and creativity to their fullest. That’s a valuable habit–a lifetime learning habit that does not have its origin in structured or unstructured play, but rather in quality play.

IF YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW WHY READING MATTERS

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

HERE ARE SOME OF THE REASONS WHY READING IS SO IMPORTANT FOR CHILDREN.

WHY DO WE TELL CHILDREN TO READ ?

We’re always telling children that books and reading are good for them, but have we ever really thought about why that’s true ? Exactly what do older children get out of reading novels ? What do younger kids get from being read to ? Does reading matter ?

The purpose of this article is to say that, yes, it’s true, reading really is important, and that there are some solid reasons why that is so. Let’s begin with the practical benefits and then move on to the less tangible rewards of a life filled with reading.

BOOKS HELP CHILDREN DEVELOP VITAL LANGUAGE SKILLS.

Reading is an important skill that needs to be developed in children. Not only is it necessary for survival in the world of schools and (later on) universities, but in adult life as well. The ability to learn about new subjects and find helpful information on anything from health problems and consumer protection to more academic research into science or the arts depends on the ability to read.

Futurologists used to predict the death of the printed word but, ironically, Internet has made reading more and more a part of people’s daily lives. The paperless society is a myth. The computer’s ability to process and analyze data means that endless variations on reports and other types of documents can be and are generated. Internet, itself an enormous new source of information and recreation, is based on the humble written word. To effectively utilize the web and judge the authenticity and value of what is found there, both reading and critical thinking skills are of prime importance.

The more children read, the better they become at reading. It’s as simple as that. The more enjoyable the things they read are, the more they’ll stick with them and develop the reading skills that they’ll need for full access to information in their adult lives. Reading should be viewed as a pleasurable activity – as a source of entertaining tales and useful and interesting factual information.

The more young children are read to, the greater their interest in mastering reading. Reading out loud exposes children to proper grammar and phrasing. It enhances the development of their spoken language skills, their ability to express themselves verbally.

Reading, by way of books, magazines or websites, exposes kids to new vocabulary. Even when they don’t understand every new word, they absorb something from the context that may deepen their understanding of it the next time the word is encountered. When parents read aloud to children, the children also hear correct pronunciation as they see the words on the page, even if they can’t yet read the words on their own.

READING CAN OPEN UP NEW WORLDS AND ENRICH CHILDREN’S LIVES.

As mentioned above, reading opens doors – doors to factual information about any subject on earth, practical or theoretical. Given the wealth of available resources such as Internet, libraries, schools and bookstores, if children can read well and if they see reading as a source of information, then for the rest of their lives they will have access to all of the accumulated knowledge of mankind, access to all of the great minds and ideas of the past and present. It truly is magic !

Through books, children can also learn about people and places from other parts of the world, improving their understanding of and concern for all of humanity. This, in turn, contributes towards our sense that we truly live in a “global village” and may help us bring about a more peaceful future for everyone. This can happen through nonfiction but, perhaps even more importantly, reading novels that are set in other places and time periods can give children a deeper understanding of others through identification with individual characters and their plights.

Through stories and novels children can vicariously try out new experiences and test new ideas, with no negative consequences in their real lives. They can meet characters who they’ll enjoy returning to for comforting and satisfying visits when they reread a cherished book or discover a sequel. Books also give kids the opportunity to flex their critical thinking skills in such areas as problem solving, the concepts of cause and effect, conflict resolution, and acceptance of responsibility for one’s actions. Mysteries allow children to follow clues to their logical conclusions and to try to outguess the author. Even for very young children, a simple story with a repetitive refrain or a simple mystery to solve gives a confidence boost. Children can predict the patterns and successfully solve the riddles.

Children are influenced by and imitate the world around them. While a steady diet of violent cartoons may have a detrimental effect on children’s development, carefully chosen stories and books can have a positive influence on children, sensitizing them to the needs of others. For example, books can encourage children to be more cooperative, to share with others, to be kind to animals, or to respect the natural environment.

READING CAN ENHANCE CHILDREN’S SOCIAL SKILLS.

Although reading is thought of as the quintessential solitary activity, in certain circumstances reading can be a socializing activity. For example, a parent or grandparent reading a story aloud, whether from a traditional printed book or from an ebook, can be a great opportunity for adult and child to share some quiet, relaxed quality time together away from the rush and stresses of the business of daily living. They share a few minutes of precious time, plus they share the ideas that are contained in the story. In addition, older children can be encouraged to read aloud to younger ones as a means of enhancing their relationship.

At school or at a library story hour, books can bring children together and can be part of a positive shared experience. For some preschoolers this may be their primary opportunity to socialize and to learn how to behave around other children or how to sit quietly for a group activity. Make the most of this experience by encouraging children to talk about what they’ve read or heard.

READING CAN IMPROVE HAND-EYE COORDINATION.

It may sound funny, but ebooks can be a way for children to improve their fine motor skills and their hand-eye coordination, as they click around a childfriendly website or click the backward and forward buttons of online story pages. They may also be picking up valuable computer skills that they’ll need in school and later in life.

READING CAN PROVIDE CHILDREN WITH PLENTY OF GOOD, CLEAN FUN !

I’ve saved the most important point for last. Reading can provide children with endless hours of fun and entertainment. All of the pragmatic reasons above aren’t at all necessary to justify reading’s place in children’s lives. Stories can free up imaginations and open up exciting new worlds of fantasy or reality. They allow children to dream and may give them a good start on the road to viewing reading as a lifelong source of pleasure; so read to your young children every day.

Inspire your older children to read. Give them access to plenty of reading material that they’ll enjoy and discuss it with them. Sample everything – traditional printed books and ebooks on Internet, classic children’s novels and fairy tales, as well as more modern stories.

If a child wants to hear the same story over and over again, don’t worry about it. Children take comfort from the familiarity and predictability of a beloved story that they know by heart. There’s no harm in that. Reread old favorites and, at the same time, introduce your children to new stories. Your child’s mind and heart have room for both.

SO READING REALLY DOES MATTER AFTER ALL!

There are so many ways in which reading continues to be both a vital skill for children to master, and an important source of knowledge and pleasure that can last a lifetime. Nurture it in your children. Make the
most of all the resources that are available and waiting for you: printed books, online books, magazines and so forth. Encourage follow-up activities involving creative writing skills and the arts, as well, so that your children can reflect upon or expand on what they’ve absorbed and, at the same time, develop their own creativity. As you help your kids appreciate the magic of readingScience Articles, you’ll find that there’s a whole wonderful world full of children’s literature out there that YOU can enjoy too.

ฉ2004

Matters of Hearts

Monday, January 5th, 2009

As soon as February rolls around, everyone is thinking “hearts.” Hearts are the universal symbol for love, affection, and caring.
There are heart-shaped candy boxes, cookies, flower arrangements, gift boxes, and charms. Children send Valentine’s Day cards to classmates and friends, and adults show their feelings with notes, gifts, and special events.

Mealtime can also be an opportunity to use hearts in our table decor.
Heart-shaped ice cubes add just that touch of romance to wine and champagne. Use enouch cassis for color to insure firm cubes.
Using yor favorite heart-shaped cookie cutters, place “hearts” of cheese, such as mozzarella, cheddar, or pepperjack on appetizer platters, or to accent a meat dish, vegetables, or whatever you choose.
For a Valentine dipping bowl, cut a heart shape around a squash stem and remove the contents. Fill with your favorite dip and surround with your choice of dippers.
Heart-shaped cutters can be used to make sandwiches, cookies, bread slices, and cucumber slices. Heart-shaped pancakes, and heart-shaped cut outs on the crust of your favorite fruit pies add delight when that special day rolls around.

If you don’t have heart-shaped pans, fill paper or foil lined muffin cups half full of batter. Tuck a 1/2″ foil ball or marble between the liner and the cup to form a heart shape. Bake your cupcakes as usual.

When mealtime rolls around set your table with red, pink, and while table covers and napkins. Tie red/white or red/pink yarn around silverware held in colorful napkins. Place a candy kiss or heart-saying candy on each plate or pass a bowl around and let everyone pick a candy note. In paper-bag lunches, slip in a message, or a special treat. Visit a special person and make them feel loved and cared for.

However you celebrate Valentine’s DayFree Reprint Articles, don’t let the feeling pass with the day. Carry a pocket-full of “hearts” and share them with everyone.
ENJOY!
ฉArleen M. Kaptur 2003 January

If You’d Like to Know Why Reading Matters

Monday, December 29th, 2008

Why Do We Tell Children to Read ? We’re always telling children that books and reading are good for them, but have we ever really thought about why that’s true ? Exactly what do older children get out of reading novels ? What do younger kids get from reading children’s stories and being read to ? Does reading matter ? The purpose of this article is to say that, yes, it’s true, reading really is important, and that there are some solid reasons why that is so. Let’s begin with the practical benefits and then move on to the less tangible rewards of a life filled with reading.

Books Help Children Develop Vital Language Skills Reading is an important skill that needs to be developed in children. Not only is it necessary for survival in the world of schools and (later on) universities, but in adult life as well. The ability to learn about new subjects and find helpful information on anything from health problems and consumer protection to more academic research into science or the arts depends on the ability to read. Futurologists used to predict the death of the printed word but, ironically, Internet has made reading more and more a part of people’s daily lives. The paperless society is a myth. The computer’s ability to process and analyze data means that endless variations on reports and other types of documents can be and are generated. Internet, itself an enormous new source of information and recreation, is based on the humble written word. To effectively utilize the web and judge the authenticity and value of what is found there, both reading and critical thinking skills are of prime importance. The more children read, the better they become at reading. It’s as simple as that. The more enjoyable the things they read are, the more they’ll stick with them and develop the reading skills that they’ll need for full access to information in their adult lives. Reading should be viewed as a pleasurable activity – as a source of entertaining tales and useful and interesting factual information. The more young children read stories and are read to, the greater their interest in mastering reading. Reading out loud exposes children to proper grammar and phrasing. It enhances the development of their spoken language skills, their ability to express themselves verbally. Reading, by way of books, children’s stories, magazines or websites, exposes kids to new vocabulary. Even when they don’t understand every new word, they absorb something from the context that may deepen their understanding of it the next time the word is encountered. When parents read aloud to children, the children also hear correct pronunciation as they see the words on the page, even if they can’t yet read the words on their own.

Reading Can Open Up New Worlds and Enrich Children’s Lives As mentioned above, reading opens doors – doors to factual information about any subject on earth, practical or theoretical. Given the wealth of available resources such as Internet, libraries, schools and bookstores, if children can read well and if they see reading as a source of information, then for the rest of their lives they will have access to all of the accumulated knowledge of mankind, access to all of the great minds and ideas of the past and present. It truly is magic ! Through books and stories, children can also learn about people and places from other parts of the world, improving their understanding of and concern for all of humanity. This, in turn, contributes towards our sense that we truly live in a “global village” and may help us bring about a more peaceful future for everyone. This can happen through nonfiction but, perhaps even more importantly, reading stories that are set in other places and time periods can give children a deeper understanding of others through identification with individual characters and their plights. Through stories and novels children can vicariously try out new experiences and test new ideas, with no negative consequences in their real lives. They can meet characters who they’ll enjoy returning to for comforting and satisfying visits when they reread a cherished book or discover a sequel. Books also give kids the opportunity to flex their critical thinking skills in such areas as problem solving, the concepts of cause and effect, conflict resolution, and acceptance of responsibility for one’s actions. Mysteries allow children to follow clues to their logical conclusions and to try to outguess the author. Even for very young children, a simple story with a repetitive refrain or a simple mystery to solve gives a confidence boost. Children can predict the patterns and successfully solve the riddles. Children are influenced by and imitate the world around them. While a steady diet of violent cartoons may have a detrimental effect on children’s development, carefully chosen stories and books can have a positive influence on children, sensitizing them to the needs of others. For example, books can encourage children to be more cooperative, to share with others, to be kind to animals, or to respect the natural environment.

Reading Can Enhance Children’s Social Skills Although reading is thought of as the quintessential solitary activity, in certain circumstances reading can be a socializing activity. For example, a parent or grandparent reading a story aloud, whether from a traditional printed book or from an ebook, can be a great opportunity for adult and child to share some quiet, relaxed quality time together away from the rush and stresses of the business of daily living. They share a few minutes of precious time, plus they share the ideas that are contained in the story. In addition, older children can be encouraged to read aloud to younger ones as a means of enhancing their relationship. At school or at a library story hour, books can bring children together and can be part of a positive shared experience. For some preschoolers this may be their primary opportunity to socialize and to learn how to behave around other children or how to sit quietly for a group activity. Make the most of this experience by encouraging children to talk about what they’ve read or heard. Reading Can Improve Hand-Eye Coordination It may sound funny, but ebooks can be a way for children to improve their fine motor skills and their hand-eye coordination, as they click around a childfriendly website or click the backward and forward buttons of online story pages. They may also be picking up valuable computer skills that they’ll need in school and later in life. Visit Children’s Clothing and Stories from Baby Bird Productions for examples of such stories. Reading Can Provide Children with Plenty of Good, Clean Fun I’ve saved the most important point for last. Reading can provide children with endless hours of fun and entertainment. All of the pragmatic reasons above aren’t at all necessary to justify reading’s place in children’s lives. Stories can free up imaginations and open up exciting new worlds of fantasy or reality. They allow children to dream and may give them a good start on the road to viewing reading as a lifelong source of pleasure; so read to your young children every day. Inspire your older children to read. Give them access to plenty of reading material that they’ll enjoy and discuss it with them. Sample everything – traditional printed books and ebooks on Internet, classic children’s novels and fairy tales, as well as more modern stories. If a child wants to hear the same story over and over again, don’t worry about it. Children take comfort from the familiarity and predictability of a beloved story that they know by heart. There’s no harm in that. Reread old favorites and, at the same time, introduce your children to new stories. Your child’s mind and heart have room for both.

So Reading Really Does Matter After All There are so many ways in which reading continues to be both a vital skill for children to master, and an important source of knowledge and pleasure that can last a lifetime. Nurture it in your children. Make the most of all the resources that are available and waiting for you: printed books, online stories, magazines and so forth. Encourage follow-up activities involving creative writing skills and the arts, as well, so that your children can reflect upon or expand on what they’ve absorbed and, at the same time, develop their own creativity. As you help your kids appreciate the magic of readingFind Article, you’ll find that there’s a whole wonderful world full of children’s literature out there that YOU can enjoy too.

Why Scrapbook Journaling Matters

Sunday, December 28th, 2008

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Why is journaling so important? Imagine the difference between a photo album of your family 100 years ago with just photographs and no words. You would enjoy looking at the photos but wouldn’t you have a lot of curiosity about the story of the people in the photos? You would have to guess about their lives.

Journaling is a chance to capture your life and what it feels like to live it for your own benefit and that of anyone else that ever sees it and wants to know more about your life and that of your family.

You will want to be reminded of what your life was like when you see it in 10 years time. How great to have a reminder of all your milestones. When you look at your scrapbook in 10 years time it will bring back happy memories of what your life is like now. So capture the details now while it’s still fresh in your mind.

The best pens for journaling are dark pigment-based inks which are easiest to read.

There are lots of ways to include words in your scrapbook. These are just a few and by no means all:

1. Writing on die cuts. Using a die-cut machine to add the color and design of your choice to the page for your journaling.

2. Putting words on stickers. There are a large variety of stickers in all sizes and shapes that you can add words to for fast and easy journaling.

3. Use journaling blocks. You can cut these yourself in any shape and color to suit your page. You can also buy them from scrapbooking shops.

4. Border journaling. You can use the borders of your pages to gain the interest of the reader. This is very effective and can stop and start wherever you like.

5. Printing words on the computer. This does lack the human touch but can make a nice change especially as there is an opportunity to use so many different fonts.

6. Writing on the page. Don’t hesitate to write on the page directly if you want to do that. Be sure to use a pigment-based ink for longevity.

7. Word stamps and alphabet stamps. These are great when you want one word that sums it up. Alphabet stamps are great but not for large chunks of text. Use them instead for single words or short phrases.

A really good idea is to carry around a notebook at all times to jot down things you really like and are inspired by. Write down things that you want to remember and might otherwise forget.

Be sure you write the dates in your notebook for all entries so you will be able to write the date in your scrapbook. Get into the habit of recording your ideas and thoughts.

If you find memorabilia for the scrapbook add that to the notebook as you can later decide whether to include it or not. If you come across interesting articles in magazines or letters add these to the notebook so you have it to consider for including in your scrapbook. You may decide against but you will have a larger choice of items to include.

Once you get into the habit these things become second nature and they are a great help in your scrapbooking routine.

ElderLife Matters For Caregivers and Employers

Thursday, August 7th, 2008

PRESS RELEASE
For free distribution in any medium.
Word count 727 at 60 characters per line
Contact: Linda LaPointe, sospueblo@yahoo.com

Work & eldercare is a difficult marriage for the half of all employees who are caring for an aging loved one.

You may know the facts:

The cost of absenteeism, shortened or interrupted work days is $29 billion a year.
The cost of replacing employees who leave due to eldercare responsibilities is $4.93 billion a year.
Many spend up to 8 hours per week on the phone with eldercare issues, come in late & take more time off.
One half of employees care for dependent adults.
Three fourths of elder caregivers are in the workforce.
One third of caregivers acknowledge their eldercare responsibilities interfere with work.

These issues not only concern the employer, they also greatly concern the employee who wants to do a good job. Yet most caregivers don’t know what kind of help or information to ask for and often tell Linda LaPointe, CaregiverCoach, “It’s difficult to concentrate on a project when I feel like you should make a call or stop in to check on Mom & Dad.” “Education is the key,” LaPointe says, “so caregivers have some idea what to expect and how to help.”

Having seen both sides of the aging situation as a former administrator and now as a Geriatric Care Manager, Linda LaPointe remembers the day she knew what she would do to help families in crisis. She tells us about it:

The 60ish man looked to be assisting his father from the passenger side of the car, when he suddenly and shockingly, in one swift movement, slammed the car door, leapt to the sidewalk and yelled, “You old f—— son of a b——!”, leaving the older man in the car.
Watching this from the next car, it was the final straw. I was determined to develop a simulation so that adult children of aging parents could get some idea what it must be like to grow old and how they can assist their loved ones, as so often they don’t know what to do.
The hurt, the fear, the anger, the defeat, the exhaustion; I’d seen it all, over and over again. I could not remember how many times I had told caregivers, “S/he isn’t doing that on purpose just to upset you.” Some, relieved, believed me. Others, resentful, would never believe me.

In My Shoes: Growing Old is now a boardgame. “People can attend days of lecture and seminars and not be as affected as when they spend one hour moving around the gameboard, living ‘in my shoes’, as one who is aging.” declares Linda LaPointe, author of the simulation. She has watched players “come away with more understanding, patience and empathy after they have ‘experienced’ being an elder facing the many challenges, joys and losses.” It is good for employee assistance professionals, administrators and direct supervisors as well as the workers who are caregivers.

LaPointe explains that we learn more when our emotions are called upon. We are engaged and energized by our feelings, not by facts. “When we can really ‘feel your pain’ we don’t forget it.” Emotions impress or imprint upon our memories. “One woman thanked me for a ‘beautiful piece of work’. I’m glad that so many have been positively impacted by it. I did it with great respect and compassion, yet kept the humor and a lighthearted, upbeat optimism.” LaPointe is gratified when people are heard to say, “Now I really get it….in my gut.”

Years in the making, this new and innovative learning tool, In My Shoes: Growing Old is now available to the general public, employers and long term care communities for training staff. Players will experience:
•physical, social, financial, spiritual & emotional aspects of aging
•common conditions of aging
•adaptive devices & treatments available to retain independence
•tips to age gracefully or to help others do so
•long term care & advanced planning options
It can be used over and over, and has an accompanying manual packed with instructions, information, resources and exercises which can be used to create a 1-8 hour educational session. Training can be fun & games. Step up to the challenge with In My Shoes: Growing Old.

Learn morePsychology Articles, see the game or order from http://www.SOSpueblo.com or contact Linda LaPointe toll free at 866.241.7009 or email at sospueblo@yahoo.com

Stuff Matters to Kids

Tuesday, July 8th, 2008

We often say โ€˜wealth and possessions are not importantโ€™ โ€“ true, but personal possessions are important to kids. Young children especially can become attached to their personal possessions. It may not seem important to adults, but small, simple and seemingly insignificant objects can have much significance in the lives of young children.

When I was 7 years old my family moved from Australia to the UK. Of course, with such a long flight and limited luggage allowed, it was not possible for us to pack and take all our belongings with us, and this included mine. I do not recall much about packing, but when we got to England I remember spending ages, possibly months, wondering where two particular items had gone โ€“ my toy saucepans that had faces, and my book on how to tell the time, with its vivid pictures which I used to โ€˜liveโ€™, sinking into the story and studying every detail of the illustrations. As a child it is hard to express oneโ€™s confusion. Maybe at the time I asked my mum where the toys were, but I donโ€™t remember. But it was when I was 39, when I saw the toys captured in the background of a photo, that I asked where they went. What is surprising was the anger I still felt about my treasured possessions going โ€˜missingโ€™. It was something I had emotionally held on to throughout childhood. I never forgot about it. My mum said she had to throw them out when packing to leave the country. What she failed to do, however, was to consult me. Maybe I was at school at the time, but a little consultation, even just to say โ€œwe canโ€™t take theseโ€, would have avoided all the confusion and unrest that followed. Whatever should or should not have happened, it is a poignant reminder that children, especially young children, can become emotionally attached to their possessions.

I recently met a woman who had a similar experience. Herโ€™s was that when she was 10 years old her mum and dad divorced, and she was to move to a new home with her mother. She was told to sort out her room and pack her things, but did not do so, putting it off (she did not want to move). Eventually, while she was at school her mum cleared her room, and threw out a number of things. She remembers coming home and the realisation of the enforced move hit her. She was angry and upset. To this day, she has difficulty keeping her home tidy โ€“ she just canโ€™t bring herself to throw or give junk away. She hoards it. It was only recently that she realised the 10 year old inside her is still alive โ€“ holding onto her treasured possessions, not letting anyone, even herself, take them away.

So how can we begin to understand the significance of personal possessions to our children, and what can we do to best deal with situations like the above? Here are a few pointers.

1. Every year, one out of 10 adults move house in the UK, and one out of five American families move. One of the most important issues to anyone with kids is their reaction to the news that they’re moving, and their adjustment to the new home. Itโ€™s really important to keep children informed. When packing items to move or when Spring cleaning, always take the time to first check with your child if itโ€™s OK to clear his things out. It may mean being firm when they want to keep everything, and using some negotiation techniques so that they keep only the most important things if this is necessary. Whatโ€™s crucial is that they know what is happening and that they have a say, so that they do not feel a total loss of control.

2. Show that you respect and protect your childโ€™s personal possessions and privacy. When children argue over a toy and the toy belongs to one of the children, return it to the owner. A child doesn’t have to share his possessions. Warn him, however, that sometime he may want to play with his sister’s toy and expect her to share it with him. She may not feel like sharing it if he has not shared his toy with her. Teach your children to take turns playing with family toys such as board games. Also teach your child to share toys when friends come over. Sharing is a necessary skill for making and keeping friends and getting along in school.

3. Research has shown that young children relate objects to themselves and hold them meaningful for enjoyment, like action figures and animals. They are more likely to relate material possessions with happiness, friendship, and feeling good about oneself. Hence, the day they first attend school, and take their favourite toy along, mum isnโ€™t popular when she asks to have it back to โ€˜look after itโ€™ while he is at school. She mustnโ€™t be surprised to witness a full-blown tantrum at the classroom door. In this situation, allow your child his toy. It can be the difference between a good day and a bad day at school, and make all the difference when itโ€™s time to go to school the next day!

4. Adolescents cherish objects that are meaningful and significant for their status among their peers. Items like jewellery, clothes, and music. Such items are important to your adolescent fitting in with his friends. They are items which are subject to much discussion amongst peers. Beware the parent who tries to remove any of these items, or suggests those jeans that have more holes than a colander should be dumped. Removing such items means removing a part of their identity to the adolescent.

5. Kids may link a possession to a particular place, memory, or person. Perhaps the area that most illustrates this is the importance of personal possessions in the eyes of those institutionalised, children who are in care, who frequently move from residential or foster home to another, or even immigrant children. To these children, their personal possessions are all they have of continuity, security, and memories. They do not have a permanent home, so all they have of permanence is their possessions which travel with them from one place to another. To many of these children a simple item, which many of us would deem suitable only for the bin, has a big significance, like a cigarette butt (which dad smoked on her last visit to see him), or some broken bird feathers (from when she last went on an outing with mum). We can never underestimate or begin to know what is important to our children.

Whatever the circumstances, whether we are moving home, going on holiday, Spring cleaning, or even dropping our child at school, being considerate and respectful to our childโ€™s needs with regard to his belongings and favourite possessions can make such a difference to his life and to the parent-child relationship.