Posts Tagged ‘extramarital’

Signs your spouse is having an extramarital affair

Monday, May 24th, 2010

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

Extramarital infidelity can destroy a marriage. In fact, it has been the leading cause of divorce for quite some time. Even without “proof”, the suspicion that your spouse may be having an extramarital affair can be heart wrenching. Because you know your spouse better than anybody else does — you will know when your relationship is changing. Others may not be able to see it, but that is due to the fact that the changes oftentimes start out subtly.

If you suspect that your husband or wife may be having an extramarital affair, ask yourself the following questions:

-Has your spouse suddenly become distant?

-Does your spouse make excuses to be away from you?

-Has your spouse suddenly started taking on overtime?

-Has your spouse made plans that exclude your input or even involvement?

These are amongst the most common signs that your spouse may be having an extramarital affair. Now, these are far from the only telltale signs — you may notice changes in daily routines, personal attitude, or in your spouse’s lifestyle in general. Honestly, the best way to “know” when your spouse is cheating, even without proof, is by simply paying attention to what is going on in your marriage and with your spouse.

Computers can be a major problem for husbands and wives — they offer a new, and largely anonymous, venue for their partners to converse with others. When you walk in the room and your spouse shuts down the computer suddenly, or tries to divert your attention from what they are doing — this may indicate that your spouse is hiding something from you. Online dating sites, or “married but dating” suites have made it very easy to connect with other people in your local area or anywhere around the world.

One other sign that your spouse may be having an affair is their inability to keep track of their “stories” that they tell you. For instance — ask your spouse what they are doing again, unexpectedly, as they are getting ready to leave. Ask them what they are planning on doing while you are gone — you may be playing the part of the forgetful spouse, but those who are having an extramarital affair oftentimes will lose track of their lies at some point, and these lies can be indicative of a cheating partner.

Now, while these signs can indicate that your partner is having an extramarital affair, they are not concrete evidence that your spouse is involved in some form of extramarital infidelity. Before you confront your spouse, you should have solid evidence that there really is something going on, other than their suspicious behavior. After all, they are your partner, and a false accusation is not something that can be undone.

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Extramarital infidelity – Coping with a suspected affair

Saturday, May 8th, 2010

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

Extramarital infidelity wreaks havoc on all relationships, even if it is only suspected infidelity, without any real evidence to back it up. Regardless of whether you are contemplating whether you should confront your spouse, or whether you are confused, but do not really know what to do next — here is how you can deal with a suspected affair.

Get proof of extramarital infidelity

Going out on a limb, so to speak, and accusing your partner of having an affair is probably the worst thing that you could do if you do not have any proof to back up your feelings.

A cheating spouse may easily be able to explain away any signs of cheating that you might notice, and if you let on that you think that they are cheating, a real cheater will just be more careful in the future.

Additionally, if you confront an innocent spouse and come across in an accusatory way, you may alienate your spouse and drive them away from you, doing damage to your marriage. However, if you are going to accuse your spouse of something as bad as extramarital infidelity, you should have proof beyond a reasonable doubt that they are, in fact, cheating on you.

Because many extramarital relationships start online these days, online fidelity investigations are generally a good way to acquire the proof you need either to reinforce your feelings, or to dispel any suspicions you may have about your spouse’s fidelity.

Depending on the private investigation service that you choose to use, you may be able to locate a cheating spouse’s profile on online dating websites, or even catch them in the act of trying to solicit a new partner.

Get the support of an unbiased, yet trustworthy, friend or family member

Before you confront your spouse, but after you have proof of extramarital infidelity, consult with somebody — a trusted friend, or a family member whom you respect. It is important that you try to find somebody who can be somewhat unbiased here — for instance, do not consult with somebody who has always “had it in” for your spouse — their advice may not be the best advice for you in this situation.

Confronting an adulterer can be very difficult, and in some cases, it can be dangerous. You probably know your spouse better than anybody does, but once you have talked to your spouse about what you have found, you are likely going to need somebody to confide in, at least for a while, and having a trusted friend on hand can help. Plus, it is always wise to have somebody around in case your spouse has a tendency towards violent behavior.

Coping with extramarital infidelity is difficult — there is no doubt about that. However, before you decide to confront your spouse about your suspicions, it’s a good idea that you be sure that you have hard evidence to back up your feelingsComputer Technology Articles, and that you have a trustworthy friend available to help you through the troubling times.

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Does an extramarital affair automatically lead to divorce?

Saturday, March 6th, 2010

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

Many wives, and even husbands, “jump the gun” so to speak, and wonder what the outcome of their marriage will be if they find out that their “gut instinct” is true. If you suspect that your spouse may be cheating on you, your mind may naturally wander to the not-too-distant future, and the “what could be”. However, before you let your mind and emotions take over, and take you into the unfounded world of which you are contemplating, you need to, first of all, verify that your spouse is, in fact, having an extramarital affair.

Identifying an unfaithful spouse

While painful, the first step in healing the wounds over an affair is verifying whether or not the affair is actually taking place. While there are dozens of different signs that your spouse may be exuding that point to them cheating on you — unless you have proof, or a confession, there will always be that lingering doubt in the back of your mind.

Because the unfaithful today use the internet to aide them in their extramarital activities, online infidelity investigation services are the recommended method of either validating your suspicions, or putting them to rest for good.

Avoiding the pitfalls of false accusations

In some cases, the act of falsely accusing your spouse of cheating on you can cause irreparable harm to your relationship. In fact, these accusations may trigger the type of distrust and hurt that cheating on your spouse yourself may cause — accusations can be extremely damaging. For this reason, before you confront your spouse about your suspicions — you need to have undeniable proof that they are, in fact, having an extramarital affair.

How to heal from an extramarital affair

Once you have verified that your spouse has been cheating on you, or did cheat on you in the past — you need to confront them and take an honest look at your feelings. It will take time — yes. You may actually need to separate yourself from your spouse for a season, and maybe even your kids for a short period of time as well. Get away, sort your personal feelings about yourself out, identify what you really want, and then go back to discuss things with your spouse.

Now, there is no denying it — sometimes marriages will not work out after an extramarital affair. However, more times than not, there are ways to keep a marriage together, and even make it even stronger than it was before.

While it is true that extramarital infidelity can wreak havoc on a relationshipBusiness Management Articles, and it certainly can cause walls to go up between couples when an extramarital affair has taken place — an affair does not have to destroy a marriage.

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Extramarital infidelity – how to catch a cheater

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

Extramarital affairs and spousal infidelity are unfortunately commonplace today, and while the statistics may not affect you — the feelings associated with the thoughts that your spouse may be cheating on you cannot be overlooked. Whether you have just started to suspect that your spouse may be cheating on you, or you are ready to either confirm, or disprove, your “gut instinct” — it is much easier to catch a cheater today than it was even a few years ago.

In today’s all-digital world, cheaters have looked to the internet to indulge in extramarital infidelity. In the past, initial-contact meetings and clandestine rendezvous took place in public locations, sometimes far away from home, but nonetheless in the public. Today, there is a significant chance that if your spouse is cheating on you, they have left very obvious tracks of their extramarital affair. For this reason — catching a cheater, even if you do not yet have proof of extramarital infidelity, can be relatively easy.

Now, easy is relative, of course — but online fidelity investigation services have popped up, which, if you are not familiar, gives you the opportunity to “track” your spouse’s online activities on certain websites and through certain services. While it is unfortunate, “married but dating” websites and even so-called “escort” forums are very popular, but to the trained professional, they leave gaping holes where cheaters can be identified, tracked, and caught.

In many cases, an online fidelity investigation can take your spouse’s email address, and use their resources to identify websites that your husband or wife may frequent, dating services that they may belong to, and potentially even identify profiles that your spouse may be using to cheat on you. If you are looking for undeniable proof of a spouse currently caught up in extramarital infidelity, the investigation service can even attempt to make contact with your spouse through their online profile — and after they have confirmed that it is, in fact, your spouse, and the intentions — they can deliver the proof of your spouse’s infidelity to you.

While it is a gut-wrenching feeling to even think that your spouse may be cheating on you, it’s important that once you have that feeling, that you obtain solid proof of their extramarital actions or intentions. The good and bad here is that while technology has made it easier for cheaters to cheat — it has also made it easier for the faithful in a relationship to track, and catchHealth Fitness Articles, the cheating spouse.

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Do you suspect your spouse is having an extramarital affair?

Saturday, July 11th, 2009

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Maybe your wife having an extramarital affair?

Wednesday, April 15th, 2009

Copyright (c) 2009 Ed Opperman

You have a sneaking suspicion that your wife may be cheating on you. Maybe you do not even have anything to go by other than a “gut feeling” that your wife may be talking to, or even sleeping with, another man. The feeling is a horrible one, to be sure. However, before you go and confront your wife on your suspicions, it is a good idea to have evidence of an extramarital affair, or one in the making, otherwise you may do irreparable harm to your marraige.

Identifying traits of an unfaithful wife

There are certain traits, or signs, that may indicate that your wife has started seeing, or at least talked to, another man. While these signs may present themselves for any number of reasons that have nothing to do with her having an extramarital affair, they are also telltale signs of a cheating wife — especially if you notice several of them.

-Your wife has a renewed interest in “looking better” — she may start up a gym membership, start jogging, or start to take a renewed interest in her general appearance. Your wife spends an unusual amount of time on the computer

-Your wife sets up a secret email account

-You receive strange calls at your home, or your wife starts to clear the Caller ID and/or voicemail out of the blue

-You find birth control pills, or even condoms, when they are not a part of your relationship with your wife

-Your wife becomes overly affectionate, or at least much more so than in the past

-Your wife seems distant, withdrawn, or even indifferent to what you say or think

-Your wife suddenly stops wanting to share her days’ events with you, or her feelings about something that has happened

-Your wife’s sexual drive changes — either she wants to incorporate new ideas into your relationship, or she starts to make up excuses to avoid physical intimacy

Now, if your wife is displaying any of these signs, it could be an indicator that your wife is having an extramarital affair, or it could just be that she is going through one of life’s many changes. Do not jump to conclusions, though — accusations can make it more difficult to catch a cheater, and false accusations can destroy an otherwise good marraige.

How to catch a cheating wife

In today’s high-tech world, a common starting place for an extramarital affair is on the internet. Because of this, investigation of extramarital infidelity requires a different approach than infidelity investigations of even the not-so-distant past. There are online services that will allow you to either confirm, or disprove, your suspicion that your wife may be cheating on you.

Do not harm your potentially good relationship over a gut instinct. While thinking that your wife is having an extramarital affair is a bad feeling, potentially destroying your marriage over a false accusation is the wrong way to go. Before you confront her, get evidence that she is, in fact, in a new relationshipFree Articles, or at least looking for one. Internet fidelity investigation services are a great place to start with your research.

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"Extramarital Affair: Should You Get A Divorce Just Because One Of You Had An Extramarital Affair?"

Monday, February 16th, 2009

Having to deal with an extramarital affair can be a life-changing event, regardless of whether you stay married or not. Inescapable feelings can come over both people that will never be forgotten by either of them. The person who actually had the extramarital affair can have feelings of guilt, loneliness, confusion and misdirection along with many other feelings. The ‘partner’ who did not have the extramarital affair can have these feelings as well, but the lack of confidence that can come as a result of the other person having an extramarital affair can be one of the toughest parts to deal with.

The feelings that come as a result of one or both parties having an extramarital affair are natural but can also be extensions of something much deeper. Of course, if someone has an extramarital affair, both people in that marriage will have feelings that will be “surface level” only at first. Arguments can occur, denial may set in, and/or tempers can flare due to the extramarital affair. While these things are only natural and to be expected, if your going to actually survive an extramarital affair, you must look at the deeper issues and get down to the real cause of the affair and what to do about it.

People in marriages don’t often look at having extramarital affairs lightly, and they realize most times what affects their actions will have on their marriage. If someone has an extramarital affair and doesn’t think that it will have an affect on their marriage, surely they are either in denial or their definition of marriage leans strongly towards the “open” side. For the rest of the married crowd who don’t subscribe to an “open” marriage and who have to deal with an extramarital affair, things can get a bit more complex.

Complexity can be interesting no doubt, but it can also add to the confusion of someone having an extramarital affair, especially if the couple or one party in that couple wants to look deeper at the situation and figure out two very important things:

1. Why did the extramarital affair happen?

2. Does the fact that there was an extramarital affair in the marriage really warrant getting a divorce when both people agree upon the reason that the extramarital affair happened in the first place?

If the couple really wants to save their marriage in spite of the extramarital affair, then finding out why the extramarital affair happened and agreeing on that reason is the first step in the healing process. If you are currently trying to save your marriage and one of you had an extramarital affair, try to limit your pain that you feel and talk things out with your spouse so you can clearly define and agree upon exactly why the extramarital affair took place. If you cannot do this, chances are you will never get over the extramarital affair and your marriage most likely won’t survive…or at least you won’t have a healthy marriage after the extramarital affair.

After you have defined and agreed upon the reason that the extramarital affair took place, you must decide whether that reasons (or reasons) warrant actually going through a painful divorce. At this point you have 2 choices…either decide in your own or decide with your spouse. The latter is optimal for a variety of reasons but the main reason is that you may actually save your marriage if you decide together. Deciding together whether the real reason an extramarital affair took place indicates that you’re both really reaching out for something, something you most likely didn’t have prior to the extramarital affair…togetherness.

So, should you get a divorce just because one of you had an extramarital affair?
No, not necessarily. Depending on how collaborative you can be with your spouse, how ‘detective-like’ you can act, and how much soul searching you can do, you may just become stronger together because of an extramarital affair. It may sound odd, but that’s the truth. Of course, it is entirely possible (and probable) that if you both don’t define and agree on why the extramarital affair took place and work to address that reason or reasonsComputer Technology Articles, your marriage won’t ever be healthy again and you’ll never be able to healthily survive the extramarital affair.

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