It would seem celebrities who adopt children are starting a trend?

In recent years Angelina Jolie and her partner Brad Pitt have adopted sons Maddox and Pax Thien and daughter Zahara. All three have been adopted from different countries.

Madonna adopted her son David from Malawi and actress Meg Ryan provided a home to a little girl named Daisy whom she adopted from China.

Do the decisions that these celebrities make influence people who are also considering adoption?

Mo O’Reilly from the British Association for Adoption & Fostering said she is undecided.

“It’s difficult to tell. I think if it does have an impact, is it likely to make them think about adopting from abroad rather than adopting at home, which is a shame”.

She added: “I think there’s quite a lot of controversy about people generally adopting from abroad and we know there’s a place for that but I think I would try and encourage people to think about children in their own country first.

In any one year there are upwards of four to five thousand children needing adoption in the United Kingdom every year and we have to try and recruit new adopters who can meet that need. Sometimes we fall short on that and those children aren’t able to be adopted. Which is a real shame.

I would encourage people interested in adoption to try and apply to their local council or government first. Plus, remember adoption is a legal procedure which involves going to court. Parental responsibility is transferred from the birth parents to the new adoptive parents so in every way that child becomes the legal child of this new family”.

In England alone she told us that there are not enough people coming forward to adopt young children. Many prospective parents would like to adopt newborn babies but is this an unrealistic goal?

Mo said, “On the whole it’s pretty unlikely but there are some categories of people where they could have a realistic chance. If they are people coming from the black and minority ethnic communities there are a good number of children who either have had two black parents or who are dual heritage and require adoptive families.

The assessment process is thorough and can last for six to eight months. At the end of the process people should have a good idea about what age of child they would be most suited to and interested in. However, it’s worth mentioning that the majority of children placed for adoption are still under the age of five. They are very young children and absolutely delightful and they’re in care for absolutely no fault of their own and are desperate to have a permanent family. By the time most people come to think about adoption they have either failed to conceive through fertility treatment so this may be the only route available to them”.

Mo also said, “social workers also know how difficult the adoption process can be but they are there to help you. Honestly, social workers are human beings they understand that people aren’t perfect, we’re looking for ordinary, honest folk who have a real interest in children and who want to give their best efforts”.

We all have goals, whether we know it or not. We have goals to save for the future or to travel, to buy a home or a new car, or to purchase items we need and want to make our lives more enjoyable. And the majority of us want to start a family.

An important distinction common to those who succeed at adoption is that they are very intentional in their steps and focused on their goal. Many prospective adoptive parents look and fantasize about adopting but do little to move past that point. While it is advisable to do research before moving on to adopt, there are many who don’t move any further to complete what they have started. Fear is often the culprit.

Successful adoptive parents know that timing, planning, and dedication to completing their adoption goal can make its achievement much easier and smoother. As with any goal, there are basic steps that must be taken to attain the desired end result. Those who have gone before know it takes time and patience and following a concise plan to realize adoption success.

Here are 10 important steps toward a :

1. Reachable goals are SPECIFIC.

To reach your goal of a successful adoption, your brain must know exactly, and precisely, what you are trying to accomplish. Never state your goal with vague terms like “some day I would like to be an adoptive parent” or “in the future I will be an adoptive parent” or “maybe we will have a successful adoption.” Be specific! If you want to complete and adoption of a newborn within two years, then specify those exact details. If you want to find an adoption professional this month and start the process, be exact. Your brain can help you accomplish almost anything if it knows precisely what you are aiming for.

2. Reachable goals are SIMPLE.

Many people describe their adoption goals in ideals that are complex and may conflict with each other, i.e., we want a child from our surrounding area who looks like us and is born in the summer when school is out and of a birth mother with no expenses and… The list goes on and on. Any one of those things is a great goal, but the combination becomes overwhelming, difficult, and the brain gets confused. If you want to become an adoptive parent of a healthy infant, just say so! If you want to keep birth mother expenses under $1,000, say so! Keep your goals simple, clear, and focused.

3. Reachable goals are SIGNIFICANT.

No one can muster the enthusiasm, hard work and courage to go forth in adoption if they don’t want to adopt 100%. A successful adoption goal is one you really, really want! It’s something that will change your life, enhance your family, and fulfill you. It gets your energy flowing, gets you up in the morning, and keeps you going all day long, because it is important! Set adoption goals you feel are worth achieving! If your spouse is not ready to for an adoption, the chances of success are reduced and it is not fair to bring a child into a family that is not completely devoted to adoption and raising this child.

4. Reachable goals are DELIBERATE.

To become a successful adoptive parent you will need to know that the best goals accomplish many great benefits, all at one time. Adopting will almost certainly: (1) Feel great! (2) Be the start of completing your family; (3) Enhance your life forever; (4) Provide opportunity to share the love you have with a child; (5) Add a new member to your family; (6) Build patience; (7) Cause you to view parenting in a new light.

Take the time to describe how adoption will impact the many areas of your life. You’ll have more reasons to move forward toward your goal and more excitement when you do!

5. Your adoption goals must be reachable and MEASURABLE.

A goal without a measurable outcome is just a pipe dream. You can’t achieve a pound of “happiness” but you can become a parent. If you call adoption professionals every day for a year for information or attend weekly support meetings religiously but you don’t apply some of what you have learned, you will not get anywhere in your adoption. Someone has wisely observed that, “What gets measured, gets done.” Define your goals in terms of time, expense, and time willing to dedicate to the process. Then measure your progress until you achieve your desired outcome.

6. Reachable goals are REALISTIC.

To reach your goal, you will need an adoption plan, a path, and a vehicle for getting there. Your goals must make sense! When you explain them to friends and family, your goals should create excitement and draw support and encouragement. Your goals should be just out of reach, but not out of sight! You want to stretch to be your best, not strain after impossible dreams. Set realistic goals you can and will achieve if you stick with it! More families fall short of this one secret, that is, don’t give up and don’t slack off in what you need to do to reach your goal.

7. Reachable goals are TANGIBLE.

You need to be able to imagine seeing, hearing, smelling, and holding your child. Go for things you know are realistic and that you can clearly visualize. The brain has a hard time going for “someday we will adopt a child,” but it can visualize a healthy child under 12 months old! Define your goals in terms that excite the senses, and then go for it with all your heart!

8. Reachable goals are WRITTEN.

To become a successful adoptive parent you need to know precisely what you want because you’ve written it down. Often, the adoptive parent will write a short description of their goals every single morning, as a personal reminder of their priorities and their objectives. They do what they must each day to achieve this goal, such as working on their adoption profile, filling out their home study paperwork or making the doctors’ appointments for physicals. The act of writing down your adoption goals vastly increases your chance of doing what is necessary to move closer to your successful adoption. Write it down! Then keep your notes where you can see and read them every day, and take a step closer to that goal of a successful adoption.

9. Reachable goals are SHARED.

We are far more likely to stick to our adoption plan of becoming an adoptive parent and reach our goal if we know our friends and family support us and our plan of a successful adoption. Being part of a group of people with the same goal increases our determination, our stamina, and our courage to keep going. Caution: Never share your goals with anyone who may ridicule, belittle, or discourage you from a successful adoption! The world is full of doubters and you have no time for them. Find an adoption support group, a group of successful adoptive parents and others who have succeeded and who will encourage you every step of the way. Successful adoption professionals and adoptive parents count on and confide with others who have the same goal! Too often family members are unfamiliar with the way adoption usually is conducted today and have only been educated by the media and the fear of adoption. The truth is that the majority of adoptions go through without incident or problems.

10. Reachable adoptive parent goals are CONSISTENT WITH YOUR VALUES.

One of the biggest reasons people fail to achieve their adoption goals is that they have conflict between what is valuable to them and what is realistic. Do they perceive adoption as rescuing a poor child or as a gift from one person to another? Is a child not of your body as valuable in your mind as a biological child? Whenever your values and your goals are in agreement, there is no stopping you! Clarify your values first, and then set simple, specific, measurable, tangible, written goals that are consistent with those values. You will achieve adoption success, every single time! Don’t give up, and remember… there is a child for you!

There are five key things for military families to know in order to have a successful adoption. By following these five keys, military families will be able to overcome some of the specific obstacles that face them during the adoption process.

1.�An optimistic attitude

Although attitude is not everything, an optimistic attitude can be a source of strength when going through the adoption process. Remember what the end result is going to be; the adopting of an adorable loving child will keep you in an optimistic mood.

2.�Knowledge of the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC)

This is an agreement between states to work together for what is best for the children in their state. The agreement is meant for adoptive families that wish to adopt outside of their state. The states will work together to provide resources to families and children from other states during and after an adoption placement.

Many military families are aware of this agreement, but may not be aware of the fact that ICPC is also in effect for military bases overseas. Because military bases are U.S. territories, any family based internationally can still adopt from the states through the ICPC.

3.�Vast resources of information

There are numerous websites devoted to helping military families during the adoption process. It can sometimes be overwhelming trying to find information that is actually helpful to your situation. Here are a few very informative websites:��www.LetsTalkAdoption.com with Mardie Caldwell, COAP and�www.USAadoption.com� are great resources for information on the adoption process.

“�Your Judge Advocate General (JAG) can tell you more about the policies between states (ICPC) and international policies on adoption.

“�A local social worker can provide information on the home study process

4.�An adoption professional that is excited to work with you

Finding the right adoption professional can be a long and daunting task. But once you locate a good adoption professional, they can guide you in the adoption process. Their skill and knowledge will make the whole process easier for you. Visit�www.LetsTalkAdoption.com�with Mardie Caldwell, COAP for some great advice in finding the right adoption professional.

5.�A Fantastic Profile

Get started on your profile today. Even if you have not found the perfect adoption professional yet, you can still start putting together your dynamic profile. Especially if you are planning on adopting an infant, you will need to have a profile that will show off what a great life you have and how well you will provide for your new addition. Pieces of this profile are also sometimes added to a home study, so even if you are looking at only adopting an older child, you can start putting together this information right away.

There are many options for military families looking for assistance with adoption. Below are service providers who have experience helping military families with adopiton and who may be able to help you too!

Adoption Services

www.LifetimeAdoption.comFacilitates approximately 120 adoptions a year and has experience placing children with US Military families stationed overseas.

Free Adoption Informational Meeting for Prospective Adoptive Familieswww.lifetimeadoption.com/for_adoptive_families/info_meeting.html

Have you thought about adopting a child but don’t know where to start?

Lifetime Adoption is holding free informational meetings and teleconferences to help families learn more about how they can be blessed through adoption.� Visit www.adoptionteleconference.com�to learm�more about how you can attend a one of these meetings.

www.AfricanAmericanAdoptionsOnline.comOffers grants for families adopting African American and biracial children. Good opportunity for interested military families.

General Adoption Information

www.openadoption.com Providing general information and resources on the subject of open adoption.

www.adoptionforlife.com Free online newsletter for prospective adoptive families.

www.letstalkadoption.com�with Mardie Caldwell, COAP Weekly internet radio show with a wide variety of adoption information.

And all babies need “stuff”, even an adopted child, so having an adoption baby shower for this child is not only acceptable, but necessary.

There are some differences you should consider when attempting to plan this a baby shower for adoption. You will need to know the age of the adopted child first of all. Some couples may have adopted a baby, but others may have adopted a toddler or older child.

You will also want to find out if the family wants to celebrate the baby shower for adoption before or after the baby/child is adopted.

For infants, the
basic necessities, such as diapers, clothing, feeding items, and nursery d้cor are appropriate for adoption baby showers. The parents-to-be of an adopted baby/child should register for baby shower gifts just the same as any other parents.

Though it is rare, some adoptive mothers are able to breastfeed their infants, so you should take care to find out what this mom-to-be will be doing. If she will be bottle feeding the baby, gifts of baby formula will be helpful, though you may want to wait to find out what type of formula she will be using, since there are so many.

Some families choose to acknowledge the adopted baby’s birth mother in some way. In some cases, they have formed a close bond with the birth mother and may choose to include her in the adoption baby shower festivities.

Or they may want to give the birth mother a gift. Discuss with the parents (tactfully, since it is a delicate subject) if this is their wish. Then consider asking guests to bring a gift to the adoption baby shower for the birth mother.

Because this baby is adopted and the mom-to-be is not pregnant, stay away from any maternity-type games at the adoption baby shower, like “how big is Mom’s tummy” or any other such games. You can however, play games to guess the baby’s sex or birth date (if they have not yet been born) for adoption baby showers.

It is important to know the age of the child being adopted in order to know what types of baby shower gifts to purchase. Buying rattles and baby booties for a 3 year-old is not helpful to Mom and Dad!

Parents can still register for an older child at any retailer that has a baby registry for the baby shower. Make sure you have an idea of not only the child’s age, but also what size clothing they wear.

For families adopting an older child, a fun idea is to have a “welcome” party for the child after he or she comes home. Find out the child’s sex, age and what toys or types of entertainment they like.

The landmark day you became parents- it’s pretty clear that the day of your adoption is not like any other day. It’s the day you became a mother, your husband became a father, and your parents became grandparents. Your life is forever changed by your child and no other event will ever compare to all you have gone through to get to this day.

Someone else is a very important part of this day; someone with deep feelings of loss and sadness. That special person is your child’s life mother who has gone through a great ordeal to bring you to this day. Without her none of you would have come together. All of you will remember this day vividly and with deep emotion.

Adoptive parents, or parents in waiting, you must never forget their children came to their life mother after the long and often difficult journey of their life mothers. We must remember this very important individual who, by strength of character or difficulty in circumstances-or both-chose to give the gift of a child to those who could not have one. For this reason alone they deserve respect, recognition, consideration, thoughtfulness and kindness from those who will benefit from their decision.

Of course, you are your child’s parents. But a life mother never forgets the birth of her child. Even if this child is out of her sight, the child will never be truly gone from her memory. She was your child’s first mother and this child will always remain in her heart.

To gain better understanding of these truths, find some stories about open adoption, speak to someone who is a life parent, or ask your adoption professional for some references to reinforce your decision to choose open adoption. Then, honor your life mother’s wishes, always.

Letters and pictures, at the very least, are not much to ask and often provide your life mother with hope and encouragement about the decision she has made. When she sees a picture of her happy and healthy birth child, she has confirmation that her decision was the right one. The occasional visit, if agreed upon and handled wisely, can help to balance out the lives of everyone involved.

Everyone benefits by honoring the wishes of the life mother. Whatever your agreement is with the life mother, commit to it and follow through as promised. If you need any incentive, simply look into your child’s eyes and remember where the life you see there started!

Regardless of the type of professional you are hiring, there are some essential questions to ask before committing to anyone. Most of these questions apply to both the hiring of attorneys, qualified adoption facilitators, social workers and private agencies.

The book Adoption, Your Step by Step Guide provides a lot of information for families beginning their adoption journey.

Here is a list of questions from the book that you need to ask an adoption professional as you start your search for a professional who will become your partner in building your family through adoption:

1.�How did you first become involved with adoption?

8.�What is your success rate and in what time frame can the average family expect to wait to adopt?

The best tools you will use while conducting your adoption research are the notes and files you will keep during your search. Keep hard copies or electronic files. Your files should include all the information, literature and notes you have obtained on the professional you are considering. Keep a list of dates and the people you speak to.

I recommend you also write down how the phone conversation went, did they answer the phone with a live person or did you have to leave a message during regular hours? Was their website informative and helpful? What type of track record do they have in international adoption, domestic adoption or in FosAdopt success?

Working with an adoption professional in another state is very common and easy with the use of the Internet. Don’t feel rushed and be sure to do your homework. With planning, patience and the determination to follow through on your information, you should feel confident in the adoption professional you finally decide on. You will save time, money and frustration when you plan and use the questions above. Print this out and keep it with you while speaking to anyone you’re considering to use. It will become invaluable to you and your success.

Be wise, take notes and ask questions. You too can adopt successfully!

In over 21 years of working in the field of adoption, I have seen and heard of every kind of blunder you could imagine in adoption. Some were made out of ignorance and others out of stubbornness, flat out stupidity or just procrastination.

It is my hope that by sharing some of these embarrassing mistakes with you, you won’t fall prey to them and your adoption journey will be void of these and filled with more peace and calm without guilt or regrets. Here are the five most common adoption blunders:

1.�Not reading your adoption agreement or contract

2.�Making decisions from your heart and not your head and heart together.

3.�Going against the recommendations of your adoption professional regarding money to a birth mother.

4.�Putting off getting your home study complete

5.�Going back on your word regarding contact with a birth mother after your adoption is final.

• If you have already made these blunders, you can correct your directions and still find peace. Here are some solutions:
• If you have a contract you have not read, you can correct this by reading it now, if your adoption is not complete. Ask questions of your adoption professional. It is not too late!
• If you have already made decisions with your heart and have heartache to show for it- learn from it and next time, take a deep breath and look at all sides of a situation before you jump in or commit.
• If you have paid a woman posing as a birth mother or one that was considering adoption and you just thought it would be ok to pay a few expenses behind your adoption professional’s back, learn from this. In some states expenses are illegal and you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your adoption finalization. When in doubt, ask.

I am surprised at the number of adoptive parents that put off doing their home study and miss opportunities or forget to update their home study. They find out it is going to cost more to get it done when they needed it done “yesterday”. If you have a home study that was completed more than 12 months ago, contact your home study provider to see when it expires, and document this in your calendar. If it is expired – inquire on the home study update process and cost, and then make a point of getting it down within 30 days.

If by chance you have forgotten to stay in touch with your birth mother, now is the time to consider: where you would be without her? I know I would not be a mommy without my children’s birth mother and because of that I want to always respect both our agreements and their privacy. Take time today to send a letter to your birth mother or to your adoption professional to forward. A simple card with a photo or note letting them know they are thought of and special is a way to say thank you for making your family. It is not taking away your role as parents, it is respecting your child and how they came to be yours through their first family.� You will be blessed by honoring your commitment.

I hope this has helped you and that you will find knowing what to avoid will help you in your adoption and beyond. God Bless you in your adoption.

When is the right time to move from infertility to adoption?�� When do you emotionally feel ready?� Will you ever feel ready and must move forward with other ways of creating your forever family!� Mardie Caldwell, through her personal experience and over 20 years of working with couples nation-wide, has made it her life’s work to bless children needing forever adoptive parents.

How do couples decide to move forward in adoption as opposed to doing donor embryo or IVF?

We just had our third try with IVF with my own eggs. Our doctor told us that I was a poor responder and the quality of my eggs is not good. He said our only options are either with donor embryo or adoption. I am just trying to work through the loss of both a dream and of the babies we fertilized and trying to decide the best direction for us. I still have such a passionate desire to “carry life” in me, but I am not sure if that will go away once I start the adoption process or adopt. Does it? My fear with trying donor embryo is if it doesn’t work, can I take another “failure” after all our losses. My fear with adoption is that it might take years or the adoption might keep falling through. My only experience with adoption is a co-worker with an older child adoption that has not been good.� I realize there is no guarantee with either path, but it is such a difficult decision, I am curious as to what led other adoptive parents to their decisions.

Mardie’s reply:

We decided that it was more important for us to be parents than to be pregnant. My biological clock was ticking, and we had to decide what we wanted most in our family. We moved from infertility to adoption and then after our first adoption of our son, we tried some mild infertility treatments again. We didn’t have a lot of money to do extensive infertility drugs or procedures. So, we decided that adoption was right for us. The decision to adopt came surprisingly easy to both of us. We always wanted to adopt someday regardless of whether or not we had any biological children. So, it was a true blessing for us.

The desire you mentioned about “carrying life” inside of you is natural, and I think most women desire to conceive and see their pregnancy go to term and deliver a healthy baby. I still had that when we adopted. I don’t necessarily think it wrong to have that feeling.

We have suffered seven pregnancy losses. We have experienced infertility, miscarriages, a fetal demise, and a tubal pregnancy with twins. In between the losses, we did have one full term birth of our daughter. It is a hard call. I have always told my adoptive parents that they need to work on creating their family, and if they want to try infertility treatments while trying to adoptive parents, they should. I just couldn’t imagine using birth control when trying to adopt after all the effort of attempting to get pregnant, and I’ve never felt I should ask my prospective adoptive parents to do something I wouldn’t do.

Just a few years ago my OB-GYN gently said to me, “Mardie, why are you doing this to your body?” in reference to all the pregnancies and then losing them. I know he just didn’t understand the desire to give it one last try. A few months later he discovered pre-cancerous cells in my uterus, and I underwent a hysterectomy shortly after that. Knowing I would never carry a child again was difficult.

Even with my “oven” (or as my daughter calls it her “first home”) gone, I still have moments when I experience “signs of pregnancy” and forget it is not possible for me to carry a baby. After so many years of wanting and trying and planning for babies, old habits are hard to break.�� I counsel prospective adoptive mothers to pray that if God doesn’t want you to be a mother, He would take the desire away. For me, the desire didn’t leave me, and we adopted our son. You need to be honest with each other and find a medical professional whom you can trust. The chances of success in adoption are so much greater than with infertility treatments. When comparing the cost of infertility treatments and the cost of adoption, you will discover more help in financing and grants for adoption than infertility. Though the emotional ups and downs are about the same, they vary depending on the adoption route you take. Needless to say, when you look down at a child in your arms and those beautiful eyes are peering back up at you, and you know you are a mom-well, that is priceless.

I always say – Don’t give up; there is a baby for you!

There are currently some 128,000 adoptions in the United States every year and, while this figure may seem to be small, over the years this means that about 1%, or several million, children in the United States today are adopted.

No two parents’ experience of adoption will be the same of course but, for many, adopting a child is a long and difficult process, both in practical terms and emotionally, but it is also the fulfillment of a dream.

Thankfully much of the stigma formerly associated with adoption has now disappeared, which is of considerable help to both adopted children and adoptive parents. Nevertheless, bringing up adopted children can still present parents with some unique and very challenging problems.

In many cases the problems presented by raising an adopted child are very real, but often they are more imaginary than real. Take for example the problem of heredity in relation to medical problems. Just how important is it to know that your child might be at greater risk from certain medical conditions? Statistically of course the chances of this happening are low but, even if your child is at risk, what are the real consequences of this? With good medical care and regular checkups most problems will be picked up and dealt with and whether or not the child inherited the condition is often largely irrelevant.

Previous bad parenting, and especially abuse, in an older child on the other hand can present very real problems for adoptive parents, although it is often surprising just how small a part past experiences play in a child’s life once he has settled into his new home and a reasonable level of trust has been established.

In many families the main problem encountered centers on the simple fact that the child is adopted and this can often place an artificial barrier between the parents and the child which the parents themselves erect. Many parents wrestle for years with the problem of whether they should tell their child that he or she is adopted and, if so, just when they should tell the child and how. Many parents also fear that telling the child may damage the relationship which they have spent many years establishing.

The truth of the matter is that biology has very little to do with parenting. If you tell your child that he or she is adopted and this results in difficulties then, more often than not, this has much more to do with your role as parents than it does with the fact that the child is adopted.

Keeping the fact that a child is adopted a secret can also present very real dangers because if children discover unexpectedly that they are adopted, especially if this knowledge comes from somebody other than an adoptive parent, this can often cause considerable emotional upset which can be extremely difficult to remedy.

The bonds that develop between children and their parents can develop very quickly and can become very deep and this is equally true whether we are considering the bonds between parents and their natural children or adopted children. Indeed, there is an argument that the bonds which develop between children and their adoptive parents can be especially strong as the simple fact that a child is adopted sends a strong message to the child that he or she is both loved and wanted.

While there is no doubt that adoption does present some unique challenges for parents the rewards from parenting an adopted child can be immense and, as with anything in life, the fact that you have to work a little harder for something makes the joy of success that much greater.

In over 21 years of working in the field of adoption, I have seen and heard of every kind of blunder you could imagine in adoption. Some were made out of ignorance and others out of stubbornness, flat out stupidity or just procrastination.

It is my hope that by sharing some of these embarrassing mistakes with you, you won’t fall prey to them and your adoption journey will be void of these and filled with more peace and calm without guilt or regrets. Here are the five most common adoption blunders:

1. Not reading your adoption agreement or contract

5. Going back on your word regarding contact with a birth mother after your adoption is final.

If you have already made these blunders, you can correct your directions and still find peace. Here are some solutions:

” If you have a contract you have not read, you can correct this by reading it now, if your adoption is not complete. Ask questions of your adoption professional. It is not too late!

” If you have already made decisions with your heart and have heartache to show for it- learn from it and next time, take a deep breath and look at all sides of a situation before you jump in or commit.

” If you have paid a woman posing as a birth mother or one that was considering adoption and you just thought it would be ok to pay a few expenses behind your adoption professional’s back, learn from this. In some states expenses are illegal and you don’t want to do anything to jeopardize your adoption finalization. When in doubt, ask.

” I am surprised at the number of adoptive parents that put off doing their home study and miss opportunities or forget to update their home study. They find out it is going to cost more to get it done when they needed it done “yesterday”. If you have a home study that was completed more than 12 months ago, contact your home study provider to see when it expires, and document this in your calendar. If it is expired – inquire on the home study update process and cost, and then make a point of getting it down within 30 days.

” If by chance you have forgotten to stay in touch with your birth mother, now is the time to consider: where you would be without her? I know I would not be a mommy without my children’s birth mother and because of that I want to always respect both our agreements and their privacy. Take time today to send a letter to your birth mother or to your adoption professional to forward. A simple card with a photo or note letting them know they are thought of and special is a way to say thank you for making your family. It is not taking away your role as parents, it is respecting your child and how they came to be yours through their first family. You will be blessed by honoring your commitment.

I hope this has helped you and that you will find knowing what to avoid will help you in your adoption and beyond. God Bless you in your adoption.